Menstruation as a nonbinary individual

Discussions related to nonbinary experiences, identity and expression. 'On topic' discussions that don't fit anywhere else.

Menstruation as a nonbinary individual

Postby Z.y » Sun Sep 13, 2015 4:55 pm

Hey there.

I am a non-binary artist, exploring ideas of gender within my work.
I am currently focusing on the issue of feeling at odds with ones body, particularly when it comes to menstruation.
I was born female but I recently began identify as non-binary. It's taken me years to realize that I have never ever felt like I was a woman, and to also realize that it didn't necessarily mean I had to transition or identify as being male. I 100% okay with my body externally.... But when it comes to my period and my reproductive organs, I hate everything that goes with it, the moodiness, cramps and messiness. Every month it's an ordeal that sends me into anxiety attacks, depression and misery. I see it as a monthly reminder that some aspects of my gender will never be under my control... Some family members will always call me a girl, some people will always tell me that if I have female genitalia then I AM female. While I accept that I will never be able to control others actions and opinions it is infinitely harder when you feel that your own body is betraying you (a feeling that many of you can probably identify with). The way I dress, act and talk are all within my ability to use as an expression for who I truly feel myself to be. My period is the one thing that ties me down to a gender that I do not want, something that makes me feel less of who I really am, and a monthly reminder that I do not feel comfortable with who the world always told me to be.

I understand that a period does not necessarily equate to being female, or even have to be identified as feminine thing, but for me personally and psychologically that is what it represent and what I wish most is that I could stop it without drugs or operations.

I am curious as to what others experiences have been in this subject, and would love to hear stories and opinions.
I am also contemplating creating a body of artwork revolving around this and other subjects, so if anyone was interested in talking more about how our stories and experiences could be translated into art I would love that.

Thanks!
~Zy
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Re: Menstruation as a nonbinary individual

Postby cerezakthelion » Thu Nov 05, 2015 3:47 pm

Hello, Friend. :D
I understand how you feel. Being nonbinary or anything other than cisgender when you menstruate is extrememly difficult. The best thing I can think of is to try and accept that it's only your body cleansing itself of toxins (which is true). As for people who refuse to respect pronouns or the pain you feel when confronted with this, I'm afraid all you can do is remember that your body does not define your gender and neither does anyone else's opinion. You will always be who you are on the inside, and the fact you menstruate does not derail your gender in the slightest. It's similar to any particular physical thing that happens to someone's body. It's just necessary, it doesn't have to mean anything when it comes to who you are. I hope this makes you feel better. You aren't alone. I myself was afab and find those couple of days particularly hard. Especially if I'm feeling very masculine. Although I'm out to my parents and friends I know that some of them don't respect my gender or simply don't understand my reasoning for wanting to be this way. It's a dark and difficult time but it usually ends in me remembering that it won't be easy, and that my gender will always be valid no matter what my body parts are or do. I hope I've helped you or atleast given some good thoughts. Do your best to get your mind off these toxic thoughts! Be safe out there! :)
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Re: Menstruation as a nonbinary individual

Postby taf » Fri Nov 06, 2015 4:34 pm

Hey there Zy 8-)
I know it's a couple of months since you posted this, but hopefully this reply will still reach you.
I registered on this site a few months back too; hoping to make contact with other non-binary peeps... but sadly (even though my introduction post has been viewed more than 100 times) nobody replied! :(
Looking around it doesn't seem like any of the discussion forums are heavily populated, so maybe I shouldn't take it too personally ;)
Having only realised within the last 12 months that THIS is my gender identity, THIS is the identity that fits, following 40 years of thinking / knowing I'm the only person in the world who feels 'wrong'; I've been desperate to find others.
Can I ask - are you in the uk?
Anyhoo.... I hope you're well, and that this message reaches you soon :)
Take care
taf
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Re: Menstruation as a nonbinary individual

Postby WolfSong » Wed Mar 09, 2016 8:38 pm

This thread hasn't been posted in for a while....but I'd like to jump in.

I definitely understand how you feel. I feel pretty much the same. My uterus is the one and only thing that really bothers me about my anatomy. During menstruation, I dissociate a LOT, because the idea and the physical feeling causes me so much anxiety....it makes it feel like my body isn't mine.

I get shut down a lot when I talk about it though. People have told me that "All women get uncomfortable on their periods." or "You're just being dramatic."
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